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Break It Down
Standing in Chaos A Shaman's Perspective
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
The Age of Consciousness
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Monday, July 30, 2012
A request,
I am learning to be more real and more authentic in my writing here. even though I search and dig for my voice, I am still wanting to communicate something, not only to myself, but to anyone that can hear what I am attempting to say.. If anyone reading my posts doesn't understand something, or thinks I should say more, it would be of great contribution to me and my process if you would help me open more, to help me clarify, any feedback will help me regardless of the context. I hope to make my communications enjoyable, life changing and provocative, will you help me do that?
Monday, January 17, 2011
Fractal Thinking
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I am so excited, I finally have worked out a theory for thinking and evolution based on fractals. It is the natural evolution process explained in it's complexity with an ever present, geometric, free flowing, self-creating, self-perpetuating, thought. This will be huge, this is the day I thought of it, and wanted to write it down. I woke up at 5am with it right there in my head, seeming so natural and obvious. I love thinking so much, but the feelings they generate are the real treasure.
Respond-ability
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An example of we do have the ability to act, even when we think we don't/can't
Dulce,
What I want to say is, I am extremely dissatisfied with your use of this new 14oz carton. I have tried and tried (daily) to get used to less, and I just cant get by it. I have eaten one of these pints a day for about 13 years, the last five years I cut back to 8oz serving, due to a slight weight issue. By your new standards you have cut me back to 6 oz servings. It never works out in the new carton, (if I were to shrink my portion to your new size container) I eat too much on the first 1/2 of the carton (cannot stop at half), and it's too little a quantity for the second day. So i have anxiety on the first day and even more on the second day. Not even getting to the bottom of the carton is fun anymore. An ice-cream of decadence speaks much more of decadence with MORE. Ice cream in it's rare and expensive form does not fit the character of a good ice cream. It is MILK, (something some of us LOVE, we possibly are dealing with mother issues, I'm just sayin) it should be supremely satisfying and NEVER be enough. But cutting one back makes this an odd situation. But you are, "Haagen-Daz", you are more than the other guys. We crave you because we know you're the best. Not because we think we have a choice.
I like that, that's what you used to do for me, please quite messing with my Mojo!
Charge more if you have to, but don't shrink the carton.
After all this, Remember, I am enlightened and I do have a choice. "-)
Warmly,
Rick Paris
Monday, January 10, 2011
I feel, therefore I am
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Such a "more real" statement, than it's predecessor, "I think, therefore I am". Chauvinism again, "let's put the spirit and the masculine ahead of all things", thought over feeling. Hierarchies really don't work for anyone, even the one on the pedestal, it just looks like it from the stands. Here is one of the biggest mistakes in consensus reality. Really a problem.
When I think the direction of life will come from positive thoughts or just thinking better thoughts, I can see it is highly unlikely to happen. Unless the issue really doesn't mean much to me, then it's easier to create, it's not scary because of intimacy. (also why it is easier to create the dreams of another). Creating mediocrity is way easier than my dreams.
When I generate thoughts "over" the true feelings, they become empty and I create realities where they hurt my spirit, I can feel I have no support for them. I am essentially creating pain, by act of separation, (the definition of pain being a synergy between "separation from", and "longing for") If i am "faking it", it ends up creating stale painful experiences. "They don't work out" My feelings must be honest, brutally so, to generate reality in accordance (heart) with my will (thought). I mean it is working, perfectly, even when it is sucking.
It is creating the thoughts underneath, the fears or the feelings of non-deserving, the crap underneath, that's what is creating the reality. The reality is "filled in" with the substance (matter) of feeling, after the thoughts. (spirit searches for soul, soul waits for spirit) The true eternal dance. If I feel badly and I try to think over the feelings with better, faster thoughts and the reality still looks badly, it is because I didn't slow down the thoughts long enough to generate new honest feelings of goodness. I can feel I am out of internal integrity.
There's also another reason, I am not reading life properly, it is when shame is in the way. If shame is in the way, I cannot see i have feelings of being damaged, While" in shame" i am hiding these feelings so intensely painful, they run my reality. They have been running so long, I don't hear the pattern (consistent thought combined with feelings) anymore. So even when I am feeling good and programming, I can create a crappy reality because the feelings, thoughts of damage run under my awareness. The reason I know those feelings are there is because in spite of all my abilities and knowings, my current ability to focus, my depth of commitment and my enlightened awareness I have a reality that actually still didn't work. (it did, just not as I planned) The resonance from the pain is greater than my new thoughts and feelings, they are competing for space. Intensity wins. Emotions actually create reality. (not without thoughts to direct those feelings) Why do i seem to create so many of my fears? Because I am blocking myself from feeling fear because i don't like it. So it builds underneath in intensity and competes for time and space while it continues to grow, and it creates reality instead of my conscious thoughts and feelings. Seems so easy right now. damn.
My Passion
Permission again, only much deeper, and much more vulnerably.
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I am writing just what I want from now on, to really write for me, I don't care anymore if anyone gets me, what a waste of energy that has been, such a distraction internally. I think i want to see how I think on paper. Sort of speaking.
i think these might look really different, we'll see.
I was just thinking this.
If you were really just "calling to hear their voice", wouldn't the answering machine be just fine?
Maybe the message you leave might sound like, " I was calling to hear your voice and this was perfect, thank you, I was missing you, bye!".
There is so much honesty in it.
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