I wanted to post this letter I wrote to a dear friend, It is something I want to share, she touches me, and I feel her so much when I read this.
Hi Deborah!
It is such a treat to hear from you!
I know your health is deteriorating, I am so sorry aging seems to be so undignified in many respects in our current age of younger is better, who wants to get old mentality. Also, the speed everything is moving can't be easy as one ages.
I want you to know, you have touched me in many inexplicable ways, but I will attempt to share some of what I can. You have showed me what richness and presence age can have on a person. You are one of the most gracious and beautiful people I have ever met, your sense of class and charm has out-shined anyone I currently know. Your attention to detail is something to be admired. You are sweet and caring, beautiful, gracious, warm, and your life has served these things in a way it would show if you did nothing more than sat there and listened. I find this is the grace of age, and you have captured it in spades. You have tasted the best of so much, your passion for the sensual, the depth and the richness of experience permeates all around you and in your life, I see the reflections and echoes all around you. You are so special and such a rare treat to have had the pleasure of spending some time with. You qualify for life's most prestigious gift, Attainment with its achievement, triumph with is lifting of character. You are something Deborah. I want to live a life as you have, I will and i am, but I have not captured it with such a style, filled with intimacy and grace and security, as you have, but I see your map, and I will do my utmost to follow it. It is a map worth following. Part of being such a graceful person, is living beyond your peers, as you would not want them to experience a loss of someone like you, to not create pain in anyone, so you are going last. I also can see you waiting, so you can assist in presence. I will do the same. I do feel I see your best self. It is plain to see.
As you know, I have died, I can share a little something intellectually with you about that. I haven't said this to everyone, but i will say it to you, it feels appropriate.
When you pass, the first thing you feel is freedom,almost like you suddenly got better. But WAY better Like you have your wits and presence in a 17 year old body, but even better. In ways you only will recognize by how good , good can feel, feelings so ecstatic, you will recognize it as painless, or pain-free. Pain-free in ways you will not recognize, pains you know, and most you did not. You will not feel separated, you will actually feel closer, you will see the biggest picture, how everything is perfect as it happened. You will go on for a bit, you will have no concept of time,pain or want. Your ideas of religion and the afterlife will play out for a minute or what seems like it, until your imagination runs out "ideas". Then you start recognizing your true self, how hugely perfect, how immensely powerful and beautiful and loved you are. How this all was an elaborate game, a game you (we) set up for fun and self awareness. It is an amazing experience to have this awareness and be back to live a life fully, that's why I admire you so much, I just see you. That's why I cannot live a life that does not reflect my greatest strengths. Mistakes are things we do, not things we should punish ourselves for. Punishment never really has an positive effects on our character and growth, if anything it inhibits it.
I hope this gives you a little peace and a little comfort, it doesn't have to be so painful, dying is a harder thing to do than most think. It is the ultimate in letting go and receiving the fullness of life, it is the end. Death is the ultimate healer. You are getting close, don't fear it, don't resist and suffer either, it actually is pretty fun when it all starts happening. I would offer myself to you as a guide to be there with you when you pass. I know it's a bit much to say, I know you enough, I think that you wouldn't, and I hope you can forgive me for asking, but I wouldn't feel complete unless I offered it to you, I just care. Having someone there with confidence composure and joy for your passing makes it easier, even if I stand in the corner. You will see a greater magnitude of this discussion as things progress. You will remember this, and you will laugh. I love you, I really do. I will send you comfort and love and as many hugs as I will remember to, even if you don't feel them or are aware of them, they are there. Sorry I didn't get to spend more time with you, but the time spent was spent well to me.
Please keep in touch if you feel like it, I may be a resource to you as a place to speak intimately and openly, completely confidentially.
Lots and Lots of Love,
Rick
It is such a treat to hear from you!
I know your health is deteriorating, I am so sorry aging seems to be so undignified in many respects in our current age of younger is better, who wants to get old mentality. Also, the speed everything is moving can't be easy as one ages.
I want you to know, you have touched me in many inexplicable ways, but I will attempt to share some of what I can. You have showed me what richness and presence age can have on a person. You are one of the most gracious and beautiful people I have ever met, your sense of class and charm has out-shined anyone I currently know. Your attention to detail is something to be admired. You are sweet and caring, beautiful, gracious, warm, and your life has served these things in a way it would show if you did nothing more than sat there and listened. I find this is the grace of age, and you have captured it in spades. You have tasted the best of so much, your passion for the sensual, the depth and the richness of experience permeates all around you and in your life, I see the reflections and echoes all around you. You are so special and such a rare treat to have had the pleasure of spending some time with. You qualify for life's most prestigious gift, Attainment with its achievement, triumph with is lifting of character. You are something Deborah. I want to live a life as you have, I will and i am, but I have not captured it with such a style, filled with intimacy and grace and security, as you have, but I see your map, and I will do my utmost to follow it. It is a map worth following. Part of being such a graceful person, is living beyond your peers, as you would not want them to experience a loss of someone like you, to not create pain in anyone, so you are going last. I also can see you waiting, so you can assist in presence. I will do the same. I do feel I see your best self. It is plain to see.
As you know, I have died, I can share a little something intellectually with you about that. I haven't said this to everyone, but i will say it to you, it feels appropriate.
When you pass, the first thing you feel is freedom,almost like you suddenly got better. But WAY better Like you have your wits and presence in a 17 year old body, but even better. In ways you only will recognize by how good , good can feel, feelings so ecstatic, you will recognize it as painless, or pain-free. Pain-free in ways you will not recognize, pains you know, and most you did not. You will not feel separated, you will actually feel closer, you will see the biggest picture, how everything is perfect as it happened. You will go on for a bit, you will have no concept of time,pain or want. Your ideas of religion and the afterlife will play out for a minute or what seems like it, until your imagination runs out "ideas". Then you start recognizing your true self, how hugely perfect, how immensely powerful and beautiful and loved you are. How this all was an elaborate game, a game you (we) set up for fun and self awareness. It is an amazing experience to have this awareness and be back to live a life fully, that's why I admire you so much, I just see you. That's why I cannot live a life that does not reflect my greatest strengths. Mistakes are things we do, not things we should punish ourselves for. Punishment never really has an positive effects on our character and growth, if anything it inhibits it.
I hope this gives you a little peace and a little comfort, it doesn't have to be so painful, dying is a harder thing to do than most think. It is the ultimate in letting go and receiving the fullness of life, it is the end. Death is the ultimate healer. You are getting close, don't fear it, don't resist and suffer either, it actually is pretty fun when it all starts happening. I would offer myself to you as a guide to be there with you when you pass. I know it's a bit much to say, I know you enough, I think that you wouldn't, and I hope you can forgive me for asking, but I wouldn't feel complete unless I offered it to you, I just care. Having someone there with confidence composure and joy for your passing makes it easier, even if I stand in the corner. You will see a greater magnitude of this discussion as things progress. You will remember this, and you will laugh. I love you, I really do. I will send you comfort and love and as many hugs as I will remember to, even if you don't feel them or are aware of them, they are there. Sorry I didn't get to spend more time with you, but the time spent was spent well to me.
Please keep in touch if you feel like it, I may be a resource to you as a place to speak intimately and openly, completely confidentially.
Lots and Lots of Love,
Rick
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