Nine

I have always loved the movies, I especially love how my Unconscious communicates to me through them. I have a weekly Sunday evening ritual, I go to the movies, I show up around the times I know a grouping will start, and I just see the next one. This is a RITUAL I have trained myself and my Unconscious for, a most willful habit, as well as leaving it up to the universe to share with me. I do not look at what movies are playing or have any predetermined idea of any kind. When I get there, I look at the times and I go to whatever is playing next. No matter, if I know nothing of the movie, even if I think I have no interest in it. I have occasionally seen some interesting cartoons to say the least! LOL

Tonight I saw NINE. The metaphors were easy and it was simple, not as complex an array such as The Single Man, I will have to see that a couple more times now for sure, too many to deal with in one sitting... Not for the gay element, I'm straight. :-)

It was a story about how every man has to come to the day he will choose manhood, over the addiction of adolescence. How life calls you to move towards having a sense of oneness, togetherness. How torn we can be between the shame of not being in integrity, the powerlessness in that loss of strength when that integrity is breached, and the call of what we once sensed as the raw essence of power within us. How the child part of ourselves, as well as our mother, and our adolescent comes to play when we are maturing. How they need to be fulfilled before we can have a certain level of partnership. To learn how to respond, with our Best Self. Adolescence can be so powerful, for a man, that amazing feeling of invincibility and virility is something that when it wains, or more often than not, the fear of it wains, we can let ourselves be controlled by our own fear of mortality and vulnerability. Fear of a life missing that critical element that feels so much like the essence of being a man. In the Enneagram he is clearly a 7, as am I, (I am also Italian) so there were some particularly poignant moments.

There is also one other element that would pertain to my own metaphor, having to do with the number nine, it is the Archetype of the Hermit. The movie did not reflect any of it's attributes, but since it was the the title, there are some obvious things to consider.
It represents that of the wise way-shower. The hermit is a sage, (like the 5 type) not simply searching for truth and justice but bringing them to others. He stands at a precipice, like the Fool, but knows when to stop. He is not, like the Fool, on a quest or adventure. (like the 7) He seeks to bring light to others. This is one of the positions I place myself in, that of more of a mapmaker, but that is not an archetype. I also see that in order to bring a more clear light, I have more work to do with my child, but that number is in a very significant position, the title. Things are closer than I might sometimes think. I can deal with that, nice! The 7 integrates into the 5.


This week, I will be working a bit deeper and specifically with the connections missing with myself and my mother. Perhaps letting go of this past in particular would serve me greater and more elegantly. I have been over these many times, but I will trust my metaphorical "weekly growth call". I also must take a deeper look at my fear of losing what has always "felt" like the root of being a man, that dominating urge for connection and the movement towards the feminine, combined with the raw energy of conception. What could be more safe and elegant than learning from a movie?