Last night I attended a high school award ceremony. It was attended by a very affluent LA crowd. It was at the Disney hall of all places. That alone will tell you much about the crowd I was sharing last evening with. I have just recognized where a large portion of my future is heading....It is time to do my best in explaining our over reliance on systems as our primary source of creating a future for ourselves.
Here is my most recent example. The amount of time and money invested to insure these children's future success would baffle most people. Being in the best possible schools from day one, getting trained on "how" the SAT test is taken to maximize ones score, Tutors used even when the SAT is close to perfect, pulling strings to get only the most advantageous extra curricular studies, Being a great athlete, being in class politics. Spending most of the summer attempting to work harder than the rest, at least that's the idea. Although they are all
doing it, so the field remains relatively even. So they search for some advantage to get over the rest. Parents being involved every step of the way, controlling every aspect possible to insure their child's success. The keynote speaker at the ceremony mentioned the competition in China they will have to consider while in college, also eluding to the idea of promoting nepotism within their ranks. You now must attempt to carry a 5.0 GPA, it used to be a 4.0. This is the map their parents followed, but their vision is skewed. It is filled with fear, perfection, personal issues of being good enough, adolescent mind sets, Shame, utterly filled with competition and comparison. The world was a slightly different place last generation, millionaires were not as prominent as they are now. The level of competition that exists within our country and globally is at maximum capacity, how much more can they be pushed? The kids and our environment are showing signs of breaking down They are conceding to the path their parents created through the parental fears and lack of parental responsibility.
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) reports that every day, 2,500 youth, ages 12 to 17, abuse a prescription pain reliever for the very first time. Metaphorically it's all there. We are failing these kids, making adulthood look like something not worth doing. Adolescent life is definitely a combination of pain and anxiety, this is true, it can be the roughest part of many people's lives. On top of an already volatile experience, we have created (or allowed) an environment for a tremendous lack of responsibility and one of deep personal emotional denial. Control is at an all-time high. The path we are cutting for them is nothing more than control gone mad. We are at risk of shutting down the next generation, what can they do to academically surpass this one? Super drugs maybe? Perhaps we can just find a drug that makes you grow up instantly. When will we value the path of a life? A life where someone honors you and your ability to choose and survive in a way that exemplifies your unique capacities?
Fear of chaos and martyr hood run rampant through our society, making strong powerful choices even more impossible. The "no fear" theme is and has denied our greatest teacher, fear itself.
We have built a system that self perpetuates control and domination. These children are getting to the end of what is possible for a human as far as this type of educating can go. We are assisting them in losing what makes growing up great, as a personal process, not as a mechanical assembly line, squeezing what we can out of them, without ever knowing what natural abilities they may possess. Without strong ethics, character, integrity and imagination they will grow to feel like losers, they will not have the tools needed to be fulfilled, free thinking, self aware, citizens of the world. The signs of collapse are all around, will we wait until they break? Can we deal with our fears as adults, so they won't have to deal with our fears 10 or 15 years from now? I believe we have the time, and it is now.
We can do this, I fully believe we can, we must, it is our responsibility NOW, not theirs, they do not have the tools to decide, they are kids and will ultimate, do what we say, or the opposite of what we say, that's the extent of their ability to choose. We are not giving them the example, tools or guidance needed. It is time to life ourselves into adulthood, not by our chronological age, but by our willingness to respond.
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