Such a "more real" statement, than it's predecessor, "I think, therefore I am". Chauvinism again, "let's put the spirit and the masculine ahead of all things", thought over feeling. Hierarchies really don't work for anyone, even the one on the pedestal, it just looks like it from the stands. Here is one of the biggest mistakes in consensus reality. Really a problem.
When I think the direction of life will come from positive thoughts or just thinking better thoughts, I can see it is highly unlikely to happen. Unless the issue really doesn't mean much to me, then it's easier to create, it's not scary because of intimacy. (also why it is easier to create the dreams of another). Creating mediocrity is way easier than my dreams.
When I generate thoughts "over" the true feelings, they become empty and I create realities where they hurt my spirit, I can feel I have no support for them. I am essentially creating pain, by act of separation, (the definition of pain being a synergy between "separation from", and "longing for") If i am "faking it", it ends up creating stale painful experiences. "They don't work out" My feelings must be honest, brutally so, to generate reality in accordance (heart) with my will (thought). I mean it is working, perfectly, even when it is sucking.
It is creating the thoughts underneath, the fears or the feelings of non-deserving, the crap underneath, that's what is creating the reality. The reality is "filled in" with the substance (matter) of feeling, after the thoughts. (spirit searches for soul, soul waits for spirit) The true eternal dance. If I feel badly and I try to think over the feelings with better, faster thoughts and the reality still looks badly, it is because I didn't slow down the thoughts long enough to generate new honest feelings of goodness. I can feel I am out of internal integrity.
There's also another reason, I am not reading life properly, it is when shame is in the way. If shame is in the way, I cannot see i have feelings of being damaged, While" in shame" i am hiding these feelings so intensely painful, they run my reality. They have been running so long, I don't hear the pattern (consistent thought combined with feelings) anymore. So even when I am feeling good and programming, I can create a crappy reality because the feelings, thoughts of damage run under my awareness. The reason I know those feelings are there is because in spite of all my abilities and knowings, my current ability to focus, my depth of commitment and my enlightened awareness I have a reality that actually still didn't work. (it did, just not as I planned) The resonance from the pain is greater than my new thoughts and feelings, they are competing for space. Intensity wins. Emotions actually create reality. (not without thoughts to direct those feelings) Why do i seem to create so many of my fears? Because I am blocking myself from feeling fear because i don't like it. So it builds underneath in intensity and competes for time and space while it continues to grow, and it creates reality instead of my conscious thoughts and feelings. Seems so easy right now. damn.
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