The Futue IS the Source of all Healing

It has been a metaphorical decade of spiraling transcendence that had disguised itself in a mask of doubt, uncertainty, and chaos. Looking back, it was a trip down the rapids that now, after I emerge, I realize, I like it just that way. I turn and face the river with excitement, enthusiasm and a spiritedness that brings tears to my eyes, and an exuberant joy to my heart. There is nothing to fear, only to learn, I have proven to myself I can do just that. I face the next set of rapids that are and can be potentially more treacherous than the last, but I know I have the skill to navigate anything required of me. I sincerely thank all of my teachers, I know you will enjoy watching what you have influenced in me. I am a person I had no idea I could be. There is so much love in me moving forward that there is no where for it to go but out. Congratulations to all of you, I look forward...

Letting Go Of The Past

So another day closer to NYE, another day closer to the reality of a resolution that certainly does and has taken me days (years) to make real. Something I have worked on again and again, chipping away pieces, only to come to a moment of release being the terminal word. Terminally clutching a bar that has had me hanging over a chasm of chaos, seemingly, impossible to deal with.

I have been having the most intense dreams and visions that this choice has been resonating through my conscious and subconscious states. My will driving me towards healing and my will forcing me to be blind to my desires out of the terrifying fear of my own metaphorical death. I have been through death in the physical, which did change me. It has never been nearly as frightening as my fears of the internal dread I must face with real change. Change based in a completely conscious choice to do so. To watch a life, a way of thinking, in fact a life-time quietly pass.

I am breathing, I can and will allow mySelf, the one that loses just when a win can change everything, the appreciation I have for the one that has pulled myself up from my proverbial bootstraps a thousand times to prove and vindicate myself, so many times I am finally bored with the fairytale. The hero, must now die.

To have a chance to live a creative and magical existence, the past must cease to exist, and only I can take it's life, empowerment is like that. There is no future in repetition. History is and can be over, only it must be individually chosen. Courage, Will and Imagination, is what supersedes repetition, at least for me. The past is not what I have lived, my mother will still be my mother of course. It is the function of how I have interpreted those things, the Stories and Myths I have bestowed on life's characters and it's situations. Which ultimately is a pattern of thinking, the past is nothing more than a pattern we reconstruct time and again out of a fear of creating something different. Structures are breaking down.

What things do you seem to keep re-living? What failure? What success? Either one is here to teach, patterns are "integrities" to be recognized. Early acknowledgments are the paths of least resistance to change,with possibilities and potentials left intact. Late recognition/denial is a path of struggle and pain, whatsitgonnabe?

New Beginnings

I am sitting in an upper east side apartment looking out over a cool snowy landscape, being slowly melted by today's rain, so Awesome! I love to be able to visit a season when I feel the need for it. Living in LA is full time summer for the most part, this is great for the moment. I am here to relax, to take in the winter, in all I can, to contemplate the beginning of the next decade, of a new millennium. I need some time for this. For sure it is the fulcrum of the "building years" not my term, but fitting to me.

As a shaman, it is my work, our path, to set tone and intention, ahead of the consensus. To energetically create the map the rest will follow. There is always a beginning to a wave, most will never see. Being awake offers a participation here. I love knowing, being conscious of this. This is the year of Initiation, this is the year that initiates 2012 and beyond, language makes it difficult to be clear here, there are many other energies at play, the 1900's playing their part, the first octave of the new millennium (12 years) coming to a crescendo. The next wave amplifying as we move into the next tone. The one everyone unconsciously, or consciously incompetent awaits. 2012. It is and will be an epic change. You won't see it on that day, it is a marker, for the real change is in the now.

Funny how chaos brings up all the doom and gloomers, the eccentric story tellers. This will be another negative hit for the false beliefs of christianity, when "He" doesn't show up (bad father). What will the sinners do then? Perhaps to finally let it go and live and forgive and realize the only thing time has done for your future in this system, is to create a fearful and painful end. Since there really is no end, what and when does one come to the realization there is a time to live, without a fear of the end?

Responsibility is not a function of "if" it is a function of "when". 2012 will initiate this new "age", so many have talked about. There is a real beginning here, one that has never been available to the consensus, conscious reality creation. The most elegant thing to focus on this year and the next would be letting go of more of my past. Otherwise I stand the risk of carrying it into a new and for the first time, virgin future. Not an easy task, but an imperative to the freedom of creation.

Back

I have been in the second most turbulent year of my life, I wish I had the words to share who I have moved into, the search. the discovery, it has been a fuckin "A" serious time, but I have found things in me, I had no idea were even there. It is time I stop diggin through the mud of my past, my myths, my personal distortions. I beleive I have the capacity to move beyond my own limitations, I truly do. I also know I have the capacity to be there for and with the rest of you. To know myself, where I belong, to express my strengths, to put myself in some elegant situation, to exceed and excel. Not the measurements or comparisons to the rest of you, to any of you. I will be an inspiration in my life, because I have always been. I may not know how you need to navigate yourself, but I will encourage you to do so. To encourage, entice, compel,inspire, hold you, to hold you like water, all of you held with no resistance to your whim, but you are lighter. To be like salt. I quietly step deeper into myself, as I take a deeper look in compassion at you. I am here, I am here like never before, I will be more, even as I feel more than I ever have, an exponential leap, it's just how I roll. If I can be of any assistance I commit to you. You are who I am here for, you never have to do anything alone, never again. If you are reading this, it is for you, you. You are the only one right now, you always have been. You matter and I know it. I know you, can you hear me? Can you make all you are reading now in this moment matter? Do you know how to give this weight? I am here for you...check it out and see.

Character and Integrity

I have been deeply engrossed in the issues surrounding myself and our world in regard to integrity and Character these last few weeks. It is something that I do believe is paramount right now in my inner and outer world. I define character as such, defining and embodying ones own set of values, principles and ideals. integrity is the amount and consistency that we live these values.

Principles are our chosen lines to live by, the things we will not cross, (as long as we have integrity) ideals are things that we live by and will never fully reach. Some examples of ideals are Honesty, Trust, Love, Intimacy, caring, vulnerability, things that a person will never have too much of. People can have character and little or no integrity. That looks like people who cannot keep their word, the end up not being trustworthy. Their boundaries appear to be weak and lacking in strength. A crook can have integrity but not necessarily a high developed sense of character. He may always steal, and manipulate consistently. These two energies go hand in hand. They are different, but when working together at a high level, communicate a sane and healthy developed person. I do believe a level of character is a direct measurement of one's sanity.
After looking deeply at myself, I have realized my own sets of ideals and principles have been long over-due for a re-evaluation. I have been in many ways living some principles based on myself as a 20 something year old man.

When was the last time you took a look at what really matters to you, and consciously decided to start making choices and decisions based on these new parameters. Doesn't many of our world leaders seem a bit adolescent to you? It appears to me they are stuck in an earlier time of their lives. Are they spiritual adults (much more than a chronological age) and basing their decisions on more than just doing what's right, as long as someone is watching. How about doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. How about taking into consideration as much as one can before making a decision? One based on the right thing for all without compromise? The adolescent inside gets crazy with this kind of responsibility. Black and white thinking cannot manage this type of decision. Our world is asking us to lift to this type of character. To do the right thing, because it IS the right thing.

I have realized that many problems I have been creating in my life are a direct result from a lack of Character and Integrity. If you are Honest and walk your principles, you will have Integrity, if your principles grow and change and are about you becoming more as a human, you will be developing a high level of Character. You will naturally move towards more love and more intimacy, caring, trust, vulnerability, humility, your growth will ask that of you. AND you will be willing and excited to do it. You can live a life with no problems.

When there are "holes" in your character, problems have an opportunity to manifest, because you have left an opening there. You will eventually create a problem, because growth will not allow you to not fill these holes, the reality is giving you an opportunity to fill them by giving you a living example to lead yourself into a deeper truth. You create your reality, Your character basis itself within those parameters. You would never be on the spot (negative situation) in any circumstance, if you find yourself there, you would immediately take responsibility and close that hole. Taking responsibility, and whatever internal measures needed to heal and recognize the lack there. You would not get caught in a lie, because you do not lie. By holding that perspective, you leave no place for that type of problem to occur. Therefore no problems. By your own design. If you could be forthright and honest enough to say what you have done, you will more easily move through a problem. This is where elegance begins, and struggle ends.

Rings

This is a link to be able to see the jewelry I make. I enjoy building these one-of-a-kind rings, they are power pieces. Made to heal and adjust ones resonance. They come with a write up on what they are for, use your intuition, it will guide you to the one that is right for you. I also do custom orders, enjoy!
http://www.bajatravelmaps.com/rickparis/

Change

Change seems to be the buzz word of this year so far, so lets look at what makes change happen, and how do we do it with some class and composure. Change is a thing worth getting good at, and I for one, aim to be great. I want to talk a bit about what I think it takes to be great at change.
Some words on change. Change is instant...Growth is constant. Change is not measurable, until after the fact. You can never see your child grow, but you place marks near a door jamb to measure their changes. Change has size not speed. The depth, width, and length of the change is determined by the choices and their involvement in our lives. How long have we loved or not around this choice? How long have we been in pain? How long ago did the process of change begin? How long has this issue been active? (length) Does this choice cover a wide arena of my life? Does it involve my job, relationship, family, health, hobbies, quality of life? Or, just one of these things? or more things? (width) Who began the change, or pain? Was it a Grand Authority, or someone close or not so close to you? What was the source of change/pain? Was it a big change or a little change? (depth) Also important to know, the grieving process is part of all change. Something always dies in change. Something must be destroyed in order to create something new. No two things can occupy the same space in a physical reality.

First, to change anything requires we understand we must be able to recognize the need for it. So recognition is the first step. Not so hard, but you might be surprised at how inept we can be at this simple aspect. Self realization is no easy task. That's why we must look to our relationships for the hints and clues of change. How many people do any of us know at any given moment, that are struggling in some arena in their life? Most people don't recognize a need for change until they have reached some level of pain and struggle that has superseded where they are capable. Disease is a good example here. The person who said,"Necessity is the mother of invention", certainly had this in mind. For change to be ELEGANT recognition would be the first key. You can feel this step physically in the body, it is the moment of awareness, the "AHH Ha!" moment. That is the physical birth of a new Neural transmitter.

Second step to change is Acknowledgment. In the form of taking the time to see what this previous perspective, thought, or feeling has been serving you and what it has been stopping or keeping you from. What is the story, what is the myth? who have you been being, how did it serve you on both fronts. Did it keep you safe? How did it keep you small? What did it keep you from? What wall did you consistently hit because of it? It is the step in your mind where you are now outside of the issue, outside the neural path, building a new one, not unlike building a frontage road. You are outside the road, next to it, still travelling the same direction, but seeing it, but not actually on it, no way yet to change direction, it is as if you are along side the issue taking in from the outside all the info you can, the more depth you can accumulate the more you will have gathered to make the change easier and more significant.

Third step to change is Forgiveness. This is where most people get stuck. It is also the hardest step because of all the false beliefs we have around forgiveness. Examples can be,"who are WE to forgive, we do not have that right", usually a lack of authority of some kind. Many adept people can recognize a problem, even talk all about all the W's,(the awarenesses around acknowledgement) why, where, what, and who did it. Some key things about forgiveness. Within forgiveness, you must forgive yourself first. You will not truly release the other without releasing yourself first, it clears the path. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. You forgive to release yourself from the issue first, you are at cause or allowing in your reality, forgiving yourself first is the proper use of responsibility. Otherwise, the issue and the person, whether dead or not, will control you. You also must forgive the why, not necessarily the what. Why they did what they did is needed and can be forgiven. If for instance your father raped you, you can forgive why, he was abused, angry, he was hurting, he was... whatever may have been what drove him. The fact that he did what he did, is another issue. Although he was in pain or whatever, he did not have to respond the way he did. Releasing the why, releases you, and him. On the neural pathway system, you have now disengaged the reason for the issue to exist. Now the pain and the pattern are known and a new pathway has been created. The old path has been energetically fractured, you have taken away it's existence, the physical and emotional reasons it was there. Now you easily move into the fourth step.

The fourth step of change is Choice/Change. Now you have a choice, to live the old way with it's reality/pattern, you are aware of it's limitations, it's struggles and pay-offs, or to move into a new way of being/thinking/feeling. Now you have choice, and the ability to change. You have created an Option for yourself. You can still choose the old way, but there is now real choice. Rehab is typically 28 days, your sub-conscious can create a new pattern in 28 days. This can change a pattern in a matter of minutes if you are committed to it with a willed and focused choice. As you choose the new way of being, the old neural pathway will fade away, as it is not being used and you have no use for it. The new pattern will dominate and it will become another unconscious choice, operating elegantly as away of being. The real beauty here is, you now have personally put in your first program yourself as the adult, next time you feel struggle in this arena, you know exactly what you did last time and can more easily and elegantly make your next round of change. As you grow within the new parameters, you will get to the time where you must change the boundaries again, a new dance floor, and you will know what to do.

Birthdays

Today is the birthday of the most significant person in my life right now. I can't help but feel a loss in myself not spending it with her. I am in some pain, the separation and longing to be with her. It is not a pain that is upsetting so much as a sweet, soulful, softly smiling sort of pain, missing her face, her smile, her presence. To feel her, to feel the resonance of her, to see everything in her, as the world reflects her on a day that most closely holds her choices, desires for herself, and her resonance. Also paying attention to her lifetime archetype numbers 17,and 8 her birth numbers, (Star and Strength *). Today is different, it is a day in the future of her birth, and these new archetypes will influence her this year, the new energies are 19,10,1 (Sun, Wheel of Fortune, Magician)*. Which happen to be my birth numbers. a rare configuration to be born with, they are the manifestors numbers. It's like she will be seeing the world with my energies this year, it is exciting to me to be able to witness her, in her next year.
I also am feeling so much not spending it with her. So much difference, staying focused on someone, when they are not in your physical world. This is her day, the day she came here into this existence, something about her energy that has filled my life with so much grace. This is not the exact day and moment, not exactly of course, but it is a metaphorical representation of THAT day combined with the influences of THIS day. I am and will be aware of every moment today, sending her my feelings of caring, love and support. Looking to the actual time she was born, waiting for that moment today to see what happens, what might occur... What is significant in that minute for her, for me? What was in that time and day she decided, THIS is it? Noticing the weather, the elemental energies of the day. The "feelings" of how this (her) time feels, knowing these energies were her choice to be here.
The vegatation at this time of year is amazing, so incredibly beautiful, I see her beauty and her attention to detail in color and light. The utter expression of the feminine The landscape truly refects the artistry of nature. So much a part of her. I see so much woman in her, the feminine truly exhalted. I also clearly see her masculine, spirited, effervescent, so ready to change and become more.
I have driven from LA-SF many times and I have never seen such beauty as I do at this time. The Almond trees are blooming, so are the plum and pear, hues of pinks and so many whites, the rolling bright green hills so filled with love and life, they look so peacefully happy, these hills are in joy and peace simultaneously, that is when my soul tends to sing, just as it does when we are quietly together, I see and feel her here. Everything filled, so prolific, full of light and life the richness the fullness, the pregnancy of this time, so in alignment with her ability to create with beauty and harmony. Such an abundant quality, the environment is wet, full of emotions, beginning to wake up. So many plants and trees stirring, it feels like a very soulful time to begin one's process, one's life. Even the light is not too direct, condusive to a soft and subtle enthusiasm, reminds me of our morning walks togther. Always nice and peaceful, and excited to see what the day will bring. I think there is nothing more profound and reflective than to be very present on a person's birthday. I especially love to do this. It feels like a deeply loving thing while I am doing it, it feels I am immersed in them in the physical expression of, in a way that i can feel everything, my imagination and intellect engaged, seeing the sum of all her parts in a very magical and esoteric way. It is my way to pay attention, that is one way I seem to love. Even though I will not be with her I will honor her today, respect and acknowledge her. She is in every thought, in all that I do, I love you, it is my will that you feel a peace and a warmth throughout this day, your day, my special day.

* Strength-8 The theme here is controlled strength, or inner resolve that is directed toward a goal. The Thoth deck shows a naked young woman riding on the back of a seven-headed lion. She is overcome with ecstasy. She holds the reins in her left hand and the Holy Grail in her right hand. In the background are the bloodless images of all of the saints. Along the top are shown ten serpents. This card represents courage and inner strength. The imagery suggests the archetypes of goodness and endurance.

Star-17 The main symbol here is a star. One or more stars is shown over the head of a goddess who is pouring water from two vases into a pool. The goddess is usually shown naked, although the Marseilles deck shows her partially clothed. She is Isis, the goddess of nature, and the waters are the Waters of Life. She is shown returning individual water into a collective pool, thus indicating that nothing in life is ever lost. The theme here is one of hope. The Thoth deck shows the naked Egyptian goddess Nut. Her right hand is held high, and she pours water from a gold cup onto her head. Her left hand is held low, and she pours the immortal liquor of life from a silver cup onto the junction of land and water. Behind her is a celestial globe on which is a seven-pointed Star of Venus. In the left-hand corner is a seven-pointed Star of Babalon. This card represents hope and promise. The imagery suggests Jung's archetype of the star. According to von Franz (Boa, 1992) Jung taught that the star symbolizes that part of the personality that survives death; the spiritual part of the psyche.

Magician- 1 This is the Magician, the divine Messenger, Mercury, Hermes, and Thoth. The Marseilles deck shows a parlor magician going through a magic act of some kind with various `tools of the trade' on a table. This is the popular view of the magician -- one who does sleight of hand, and who employs gimmickery. The Waite and Golden Dawn decks are more sophisticated. They both show a magician in robes, with his four traditional weapons: a sword, a wand, a cup, and a pentacle. The Thoth deck shows him with a naked golden body, smiling, with winged feet standing in front of a large caduceus. In his right hand he hold a style and in his left hand, a papyrus. The card shows a monkey, swords, cup, wand, and pentacle. This card represents the will.
The Wheel of Fortune-10 The main symbol of this card is a wheel. The wheel is a symbol for cycles, and the card represents the law of cyclic manifestation. The original symbols of this card were probably meant to portray the doctrine of reincarnation, as well as other cyclic processes. In the Thoth deck stars line the top of the card through which lightning strikes into a mass of blue and violet plumes. In the center is a wheel with 10 spokes. On the wheel are a sworded sphinx (sulphur), Hermanubis (mercury), and Typhon (salt). The wheel is the Eye of Shiva. This card represents evolution and the imagery suggests the archetypes of fate and destiny.

The Sun-19 The main symbol of this card is the sun which is almost always shown with extending rays, and sometimes with a face to suggest solar intelligence. The Marseilles deck shows a young couple together under a sun. The Waite deck shows a naked child riding a horse under a sun. The Golden Dawn deck shows two naked children holding hands under a sun. The sun, as the generator of light and heat, is the symbol for life and the forces of conscious creativity. The Thoth deck shows a green mound beneath a flaming 12-rayed yellow sun. Two winged children dance together on the mound, but a wall prevents them from the summit. At the feet of each child is a rose and cross. Around the card are the signs of the Zodiac. The imagery of this card suggests the archetypes of growth, success, and abundance as well as Jung's archetype of the sun.

Imagination is More Powerful than Knowledge

This is my favorite quote of all time, (actually an updated derivative, mine,"-), he actually said, "Imagination is more important than Knowledge") from one of my personal heroes Albert Einstein. Who actually had an 8th grade education. His Degrees, were honorary ones. This quote is becoming more and more poignant as the days click by. Our current education system is driving us into deeper and deeper levels of pain and struggle, over-extension of a thinking system,(primarily logic and reason) and over-taxing the minds and capacities of our developing children, and young adults. We are so out of balance right now with so much emphasis on our left brains, it is almost to the point of being absolutely blindly ridiculous. The current level of thinking we are using does not have the capacity to solve the problems that it has created. We do not have the experience or the technologies available to solve our current round of global and economic situations. The avenue of solution will come from our imagination, our right brain. With all this over-activity of memorizing data and linear thinking we are filling ourselves and our time with a frantic race against more and more exponential growth and competition and comparison. Our country has one of the most elegant means of information delivery available to the masses (internet) and the freedom to experience vast amounts of what is possibly available. An absolutely wonderful tool to let go of information accumulation. How much information gathering could we let go of? If we spent more of our time being creative and exercising that wonderful right free thinking brain of ours, what could be possible in the way of creative innovative ways of solving our current problems? Versus worrying about the intellectual savvy of our perceived academically advancing competitive countries? The right brain has the capacity to move from a-z without the letters in between, that is the type of thinking we need to be proficient at. There is more capacity and possibility in that, and we will definitely have healthier, happier adults with a much more balanced perspective on the world around us.
It is time for us to lead, to lead by example, to expressly deny living lives that do not reflect our Greater Selves, the time of the lesser self must end, it is a choice away.

Breaking the System....down

Last night I attended a high school award ceremony. It was attended by a very affluent LA crowd. It was at the Disney hall of all places. That alone will tell you much about the crowd I was sharing last evening with. I have just recognized where a large portion of my future is heading....It is time to do my best in explaining our over reliance on systems as our primary source of creating a future for ourselves.
Here is my most recent example. The amount of time and money invested to insure these children's future success would baffle most people. Being in the best possible schools from day one, getting trained on "how" the SAT test is taken to maximize ones score, Tutors used even when the SAT is close to perfect, pulling strings to get only the most advantageous extra curricular studies, Being a great athlete, being in class politics. Spending most of the summer attempting to work harder than the rest, at least that's the idea. Although they are all
doing it, so the field remains relatively even. So they search for some advantage to get over the rest. Parents being involved every step of the way, controlling every aspect possible to insure their child's success. The keynote speaker at the ceremony mentioned the competition in China they will have to consider while in college, also eluding to the idea of promoting nepotism within their ranks. You now must attempt to carry a 5.0 GPA, it used to be a 4.0. This is the map their parents followed, but their vision is skewed. It is filled with fear, perfection, personal issues of being good enough, adolescent mind sets, Shame, utterly filled with competition and comparison. The world was a slightly different place last generation, millionaires were not as prominent as they are now. The level of competition that exists within our country and globally is at maximum capacity, how much more can they be pushed? The kids and our environment are showing signs of breaking down They are conceding to the path their parents created through the parental fears and lack of parental responsibility.
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) reports that every day, 2,500 youth, ages 12 to 17, abuse a prescription pain reliever for the very first time. Metaphorically it's all there. We are failing these kids, making adulthood look like something not worth doing. Adolescent life is definitely a combination of pain and anxiety, this is true, it can be the roughest part of many people's lives. On top of an already volatile experience, we have created (or allowed) an environment for a tremendous lack of responsibility and one of deep personal emotional denial. Control is at an all-time high. The path we are cutting for them is nothing more than control gone mad. We are at risk of shutting down the next generation, what can they do to academically surpass this one? Super drugs maybe? Perhaps we can just find a drug that makes you grow up instantly. When will we value the path of a life? A life where someone honors you and your ability to choose and survive in a way that exemplifies your unique capacities?
Fear of chaos and martyr hood run rampant through our society, making strong powerful choices even more impossible. The "no fear" theme is and has denied our greatest teacher, fear itself.
We have built a system that self perpetuates control and domination. These children are getting to the end of what is possible for a human as far as this type of educating can go. We are assisting them in losing what makes growing up great, as a personal process, not as a mechanical assembly line, squeezing what we can out of them, without ever knowing what natural abilities they may possess. Without strong ethics, character, integrity and imagination they will grow to feel like losers, they will not have the tools needed to be fulfilled, free thinking, self aware, citizens of the world. The signs of collapse are all around, will we wait until they break? Can we deal with our fears as adults, so they won't have to deal with our fears 10 or 15 years from now? I believe we have the time, and it is now.
We can do this, I fully believe we can, we must, it is our responsibility NOW, not theirs, they do not have the tools to decide, they are kids and will ultimate, do what we say, or the opposite of what we say, that's the extent of their ability to choose. We are not giving them the example, tools or guidance needed. It is time to life ourselves into adulthood, not by our chronological age, but by our willingness to respond.

Enlightenment

Here is the number one difficulty with enlightenment. When you wake up, or even think about waking up, you consciously take another step farther away from consonance. The definition of consonance being in harmony. All beings with free will are out of consonance, it is a function of having free will. For a being to have the capacity to create, it must first extricate itself from flow, from harmony. This is a beautiful act of courage and expansion, the creation of spirit, the creation of the masculine. Everything in the universe is in harmony, except for human beings.
Out of that initial separation from source, comes individual expression, free will, action, movement, recognition we are separate individuals. It occurs first in our birth, our first physical experience of this, it happens again several times through out our development. This is also where this inherent drive to be connected comes from in us, the desire to be one, oneness, part of something greater than we are. A deep knowing and desire to be home again. We know what being in flow is like.
One of the primary blockages to waking up, is our own fear of moving away from harmony, standing in chaos, we have already made the first step in that movement just being physical, I believe that was so traumatic and scary, (as well as completely liberating) we resist "any more" separation, like another step might be more painful. When we are asleep, or not aware of ourselves and our patterns, we live in the past, we live in the umbrage of personality drives, subconscious patterns, and astrological aspects. The absolute truth of it is, we are here to wake up to who we are, who we have come here to be and become. It is not a question of IF we are and will be completely individually responsible, it is a question of When. It was never meant to be this painful.
Pain and struggle stem from resisting growth. As the boundaries we have unconsciously (or consciously) given ourselves cave to the pressures of our own expansion we have an ever increasing responsibility to change those boundaries. With choice we can direct the flow of growth, without choice the chips will fall where they may, with a greater possibility of increased pain. Without change and responding, we create pain and loss of freedom. We are in a crisis of freedom right now. You can feel life and the ways we have been living are choking us, individually and collectively. We are in the narrows, the liminal, this is the first time humanity has had the capacity to direct and choose our next space. Will we consciously choose a life based in love and freedom, or one of pain and struggle, there is still time to get on the right track, 2012 is still far enough away to learn how to do that... Know you are at choice to be where you are, even if you think you would never have chosen this, it only calls to your state of unconsciousness. Use that awareness of being unconscious of your choice, to be more conscious.

Hope

With all this talk of Hope, i would like to say a couple of things about hope. Hope is a very specific synergy between two distinct and powerful energies. Hope is not passive, it is a very focused and a very willed choice. It has been diminished in our society as a last ditch effort. Most people when they say the word, you can 'hear" they are not doing it, you can feel they are in a moment of desperation versus a powerful willed choice. Hope is a synergy between Expectation and Anticipation. These words are not synonyms of each other, although many might argue they are the same.
Expectation is the ability to focus on the future, "EX" meaning outside, "spect" to see. To see, to visualize your outcome. This takes patience.
Patience in the adolescent mind is waiting. Patience is not waiting, it is focused intention on what you want, until it happens. Cats are patient. Anyone who has a cat, knows what I mean. If you ever watch a cat hunt prey, it is focused, nothing else matters, it is focused intently on what it wants, in the moment, until it sees the moment and then moves.
Anticipation is knowing it will happen, realization in advance, it is in the present moment focused with intention and expectation, seeing it, knowing it will happen simultaneously. It is the behavior and action before the event, the actual participation involved before.
When you hope, know how and what you are doing. It is not a pleading for assistance, it is not self-pity, it is not begging to be delivered. It is active presence, creating a future with will and imagination, coupled with desire. Can you feel the difference in the energy? Between a person pleading to something for help, and a person with a knowing how to create, creating a visionary opening, a future of possibility, actually having fun allowing.

Dogs

I love dogs. I have been watching people a lot lately with their dogs, really missing mine. They weren't really mine, but my significant other had two which I loved like my own, which actually made no difference to any of us. I love to love. That is what I have learned about dogs, they are relatively easy to love. Not like humans for some strange reason. Humans are definitely scarier, and more difficult to love, at least they appear to be. Dogs also love so easily, unless they have been overly beaten, even they can have some trouble with that. Just their enthusiasm alone will allow me to lend my face as a human lolly pop. My dog can get in such a frenzy over licking my face, he shakes. I can overlook any smell or stickiness or my own sense of disgust, just to not hinder them, I love to allow them their freedom to love. i miss them. Makes me want to go out and get one right away.
My significant other is living in Baja, the dogs having a wonderful dog life there, they are in dog heaven. No leashes, lots of things to smell, there are no fences in Mexico. Dogs have to learn social etiquette in Mexico.
I have noticed that people really do want to love, it especially shows in dog lovers. For some crazy reason, we feel more comfortable taking care and being intimate with an animal than each other. I have a good friend who just got his first dog. He is meticulous, anal, and super judgmental of women's physical attributes, no one is good enough. he has wanted a relationship so badly, he has finally found one, a dog, vs not expressing love any longer. His dog is a shelter rescue with bad skin, infected eyes, diarrhea, worms, and he looks at that dog like it was his life partner, he is in love with this dog. The dog is on the furniture, the front seat in the car, eats from his plate,he even opens the door, picks up the dog and places her in the car. He constantly readjusts her bandanna, sits on the ground to talk to her in his 200 dollar jeans. He has overlooked any and all of his idiosyncrasies at the drop of a hat mind you, just to feel love. He is so
capable of loving and dropping
his negative judgments
If your girlfriend wasn't feeling good, would you take her immediately to the Dr, no cost too great, paid happily in cash? Would we be OK if she ripped up your favorite irreplaceable shoes? Buying only the best possible food for her? How about ruining the flowers, or the new tree just planted out back? How about breaking the controllers to the X-Box?
No matter how busy or perturbed we are we seem to have a moment for a nice greeting when we come home for the dog, but for each other? Dogs are rarely perfect, but we drop most any grievance we have with them in a matter of minutes. Regardless of how much money said incident costs us. They can even pee on most anything we own without major incident. They mess the floors, they chew anything they are able, they pee, defecate, sit in our favorite spot, they have no respect for hours or noise. If they run away we love them like crazy the minute we see them. we put up fliers two hours after we think they are missing. They never pay. They never ask for anything, except maybe to go outside. They can fart in bed and we think it's funny. We can fart and they don't notice.
All I'm saying is, we could learn a lot about loving each other just by the way we treat our dogs, it's not like we don't know how to do it, we do know how to love, do we have the courage to do that with each other, a neighbor, a stranger? i don't know about you, but I will risk it and live like that.

Corazon

Daylight beckons a heart where only the mind has it's allure.
i stand circumspect, guardian of the tsunami
Fortresses are meant to be forced
so much resistance, to hold our Selves back
To find ourselves through the dissonance
Built in pain, never relinquished in time
Without walls time dances by
Perhaps they can crumble with time
Cuba's crumbling walls invalidate my breath
Weak in cloak, strong in measure
Spirit dances, searching for a feminine vestibule
I deliberately empower each stone for protection
My duty and my will is to Ardent Love
where is the prize that has eluded us all?
Perhaps buried in the ocean, motionless in changeless thought
Breath cannot survive the depth of where the dual fish may go
depth seems to allude one who chooses to fly
Freedom at any cost?
It is a choice, many do not have the courage to will
Freedom is what i offer her
she dances by on the breeze content with herself
I seem to find joy in that.

La Vida

If two people can trust each other and move and grow together as the best reflection for/of one another you can be, utilizing aspects of intimacy,(Closeness, Openness, Honesty, Trust, Loving, Caring, Privacy) just striving for that, you are able to let go of a current resistance or pattern. Love and intimacy, based on trust can allow that. If you are saying "X" to me, and I TOTALLY have an impulse to disagree, but, I also can be awake enough to truly trust and believe you are here for me, care for me, and are speaking for my greatest good, I can drop the projection, stop the current round of separation, out of my love and intimacy and trust in you. In that space I can see what to work on, based only on your word, given the significance of who you represent to me. Rather than argue point. I fully realize this. If I can't utterly trust the one I've chosen to be close to out of the 6 billion.... I have learned about and lost more of "myself" while I have been in my last relationship than at any other time in my life. I am a different person than I would have ever imagined I would be, out of love. It is time again to gather all my pieces, all my changes, all what I have learned and leap again. There is no reason to hold back, living my life in the now, focused on a future, loving fully in the moment.
I see how great love can be, I see how amazing it works when it is done fully "out" of projection, I even see how amazing it can be processing as the individual, the growth lesson love can be. The significant changes one can respond to, as you keep love open ad moving. There is nothing more confronting than love. Now I choose to be a team, this can really work, to truly free two people to be artisans of life, to live life daily, deeply entrenched in love and artistry, internally connected, sharing our external experiences to gain more knowledge to move and change. Not to be in LA-La land either, to work and create and future think, to be physical, and all the things needed to succeed physically. It gives a base of connection, a feedback system that only gets clearer as time and trust grow. I am learning, so I can do what I love, breaking rules. Of course this isn't black and white. Freedom is truly at hand.

More is MORE, less is just LESS

People, why don't we just call a spade a spade and stop trying to be all enlightened with these concepts that are so not enlightened. Enlightenment is so many things, one thing it is NOT is living in mediocrity and calling it cool and sophisticated. Living with less is just less. It reeks of the past. Where did we get these concepts that less is more? Where did that come from? We have the capacity to have like never before, why are we negatively judging that?
It is beautiful that this is all possible. Maybe the idea came from looking at people who have SOOO much and aren't happy? (another negative judgment) Looking at the universe like resources are limited? (another one) We seem to be spending our resources at the rate of gasoline in a 1960's muscle car. The FEAR of them running out is the problem.
Hey, I'm all for conservation and doing things cleaner, but not out of a fear choice. Out of a choice to do the right thing for the right reasons. Cleaner feels better, it smells better, it looks better, at least to me. Those are reasons to change, my individual reasons. These reasons create more character, fear choices do not. Fear choices create mediocrity, bottom line. We are in a world where mediocrity is not an option, really. We as humans are not mediocre or damaged, we are amazing deeply loving beings.
Things have gone too long down a path of unawareness, that's it. The metaphor for practically everything I see is, Structure. Old structures are breaking. money system, water system, electrical system, country borders, the way financial institutions have operated for so long, medicare, social security. More and deeper decisions must be made now, change is at hand, it must be embraced and responded to. Responsibility is power, it is time to lift and be powerful. We are creating our own problems to guide us so that when we find the solutions to these, we will have found our way. They are there/here for our benefit. We are creating pressure because we are not changing elegantly, with character. We are merely using another old way of change, which is Pain and Struggle. Not doing anything until the pressure of change gets almost too great. Physical reality was never meant to be this painful. The challenge and the beauty of these actual problems are, we will be where we need to be as we solve them.
The solution is to have more and still be aware. To not abuse perhaps, even abusing things is OK now and again, as long as we recognize the abuse and change. We do that with the ones we love so often, don't we? Whether it is taking them for granted, or just being our lesser selves around them.
ALL change begins with recognition. Simple times or going back to simpler times is NOT an option. Simplicity breeds difficulty. It is searching in our past, idealizing it and throwing it out in front of us, hoping to make it better than it was. That actual past has lead us right here "X", we cannot vindicate ourselves with it, or even get there from THIS actual point. We must incorporate where we are, embrace all we have, choice deeper where we want to go, and recognize the separation we keep creating. So much of the Oneness, "One world" idea stems from this, creating separation is part of an old paradigm. We are realizing we need to take a much grander viewpoint of our impact. Negative Judgment separates, and causes pain. We cannot Negatively Judge ourselves, that has not worked, ever. Motivating ourselves out of how lowly we are, attempting to manipulate god into taking pity on us. We seem to not take the responsibility nearly enough and to stop doing it, STOP Negatively Judging. Even the fact I am writing to you, and telling you this is a negative judgment, it gets rather complex. Ideally I must change internally and not tell anyone they are wrong, bad or anything that creates separation. Otherwise I contribute to/in the old pattern. One at a time we must remove oursleves and the standing wave will collapse, it is the law of resonance. We are moving into a greater level of complexity, simplicity will create huge problems here. I don't think anyone can even buy a Television without a remote control. this is a complex device that makes our lives simpler, but it is in no way simple. This is where we need to move.... More to come

Super Bowl

Last night was the most exciting Super Bowl i have ever watched. The game went back and forth in a way that i really imagined he game to go, just like virtual reality! i did not have any real affinity for either team, one way or another. One thing I generally do in any event of competition, which can drive some people bonkers, is to root for whomever is down at the time, whether it is my team or not. What makes a game great to me, is watching someone do what it takes to be in the lead again. I focus my attention to where it is needed to make the game exciting and fun. I do not adhere to "either or realities", Black and White is the type of thinking that has generated the types of issues we are dealing with in the world right now. Oneness will be about incorporating everything in a complex way, simple solutions are a thing of the past. I practice manifesting what I want, as I watch the game, I enjoy that. Plus,it really is a great way to have conversations about the way people perceive competition. It almost always gets some kind of attention when people can't decide whom you are for. You end up  really enjoying the game, fully.  You are actually rooting for both teams simultaneously. I mean shouldn't we? Couldn't we? To have a GREAT game from both sides. Not with a singular focus of will in an attempt to control, although I do want my team to win.

 I wanted the Cardinals to win, mostly because of Kurt Warner's story. He has been living his dream... I love that. He was a baggage clerk at a grocery store not long ago, when someone told him to follow his dream, and he did, becoming an NFL quarterback. He has won two NFL MVP titles and two super bowl appearances. The second one after being drafted a somewhat washed up second-string quarterback. I am all about people living their dreams; I am committed to helping people do that. Competition has been twisted to be a game of domination, not what sports were originally intended to be, one of personal dominion. Domination being, getting inside someone's head attempting to shake them, even cheating (can you believe they cover their mouths when giving plays!) in hopes of causing them to make a mistake, to advance their odds of winning. Winning by a mistake is not winning; it is basically coming in first. That is not a win. Chauvinism has elevated being #1 above all else. Being first no matter what. The "ends justifies the means" mentality. This is a total lack of character. 

This is not a victory of triumph or character. A victory of triumph and character is a win (or a loss) where you were lifted to another level by the very competition itself; you superseded yourself because of them and their efforts. In these situations, even if you a loss occurs your self-esteem is lifted as well as your respect for your respect and appreciation for opponent. You want them to do great, you encourage them to do great because of what it will offer you in the process, this is a win, win before you even start. You won by being more than you previously were, maybe ever, based in who they are being in the moment, competition it is truly a dance. The better they are, the better you can be.  Competition based in a way that you would have utter respect of/for your competitor. You want him/her in the best possible place. Domination never offers this type of competition. It does not build character or esteem, it is just one over another. Chauvinism has warped competition on these times. Harrison, with his personal foul in the 4rth quarter was the old paradigm in place. How did it feel watching him pushing that guy on his back multiple times on the instant replay? In my opinion he should have been ejected from the stadium. It was really difficult for me to drop my negative judgement and root for the Steelers after that display, but I got over it pretty quickly.

There is a new possibility for  the best of competition. This encouraging, enriching, mentality is what can lift our future leaders and athletes to new and lofty goals, positive reinforcement building of character and support from Both sides. Team effort extending well beyond the team. All records will eventually get broken. They are a function of reality creation tools at work. We create a future against the back-drop of a past. Our future creates the present. These tools are, Desire, Expectation and Imagination. These are how we do it. When a young person is watching someone excel, they are desiring doing that thing, they are imagining themselves doing it, they are expecting to do it, after all they did it, I can too! That is why records will be beaten and surpassed. That is one of the graces of being a human being. Growing, changing superceding with and for the fun of it.

I wish Warner could have pulled it off in the end.... "-)